You’re getting married…

and people can’t stop telling you things you have to do in order to make it right. You need to get married in a church. You need to have a bridal party of this many people. You need to invite your 6th cousins twice removed that you haven’t talked to in 12 years.

And you can’t see your fiancé until you walk down the aisle.

At this point, you’ve probably received your fair share of unsolicited advice from family, friends, and random people that happen to know that you’re engaged, and you’re now turning to the internet for help. Don’t worry boo, I gotchu.

You’re here because you might be either wondering what a first look is, or whether or not you should do one on your day. First of all, what is a first look? A first look is when the couple sees each other before the ceremony and reveals themselves to each other, typically away from any distractions, with just the two of them and their photographer/videographer. In traditions past, the couple couldn’t see each other before the ceremony because it was considered “bad luck”.

Things that WON’T happen if you see your fiancé before your wedding ceremony:

You’ll get struck by lightning.
God won’t think your marriage is virtuous.
Your marriage will be cloaked in terrible luck that will end in divorce.
You’ll trip and fall walking down the aisle.

Things that WILL happen if you see your fiancé before your wedding ceremony:

You’ll see your fiancé before your wedding ceremony.
… that’s it.

I’ve compiled a list of misconceptions of what a first look really is, and hopefully it can guide you in the right direction of whether or not a first look is right for your day!

A first look ruins the surprise

Some people believe that the surprise is ruined if you see your significant other before the actual ceremony. This is a totally valid feeling! You may have an image that you can’t shake of you seeing each other for the first time when walking down the aisle, and that’s great! However, it’s just as much of a reveal when it’s just the two of you having a moment together as it is in front of the audience of your wedding. There’s no surprise to be ruined. You get to see the love of your life on your wedding day, and either way you chose to do it, it’s still just as special either way!

Second shot with Darien Carter Photography

First looks are against tradition

The tradition goes that it’s bad luck to see your fiancé on the day of your wedding before the ceremony. Whether you believe that or not is completely up to you, however, I know for a fact that the fable isn’t true. You can choose to do whichever makes you most happy, but one will not curse your marriage.

Place yourself in each situation: one of you walking down the aisle and seeing your fiancé for the first time, and one of you setting up a special time to have a moment to take in your fiancé in a more intimate setting away from the crowd. Whichever one makes your heart flutter more is the way to go.

Second shot with Caitlin and Luke Photography

You can only do a first look with your significant other

Did you know that you can actually do first looks with people who AREN’T the person you’re marrying? You can do a first look with mom, dad, grandpa and grandma, your bridesmaids, whoEVER you want! First looks aren’t just for the couple anymore, but for anyone you want!

So, first look?

The truth is, I don’t have the magic answer. Here’s the thing about first looks. There’s many reasons why people do them and don’t do them, but it’s not up to anyone else. It’s up to YOU. If you would rather be surprised to see each other until you’re walking down the aisle, do that. If you’d rather see each other before to calm your nerves, do that. I’m just here to tell you it is NOT up to aunt Susan or some random friend you ran into that’s trying to tell you what to do. They can do what they want to do when they get married, but this day is about YOU. Do it how YOU want it, and I’ll be here for whatever you decide ;)

Let me know below if you’re FOR first looks or AGAINST first looks and why!